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Smirking Chimp - September 30, 2019

"At this point, [Trump] could be caught walking out of a Federal Reserve bank with two giant sacks of money in his hands and no Republican would vote to impeach him for grand larceny," a Senate GOP staffer told the L.A. Times.

The aide then pointedly characterized the rank-and-file tree sloths and prosimians whose blinkered assessment of all things political has been reduced to this:

"Our voters want two things from their congressmen: [dumping] on the media and blindly defending the president. That’s what being a Republican has come to."

A marvel, it is, that the prehensile adherents to this party — once the party of Lincoln, T.R., Eisenhower — still call themselves Republicans; and utterly mystifying is that their tree sloth brothers still call themselves conservative.

In their defense, however, even Merriam-Webster is behind these radically metamorphosed times, defining a "conservative" as one "tending or disposed to maintain existing views, conditions, or institutions : TRADITIONAL; marked by moderation or caution; marked by or relating to traditional norms of taste, elegance, style, or manners."

Just visit a pro-Trump website, say, at Reddit or 4chan, and witness the moderation, elegance, style and manners of the keyboarding primates who gather there to share "ideas." Most of their scrawled entries — and this is rather typical of chimpanzees — are jackhammeringly incoherent; the others are simply venomous toward anyone who lacks their philosophical elegance.

This is what has brought so low the conservative-holdout Ross Douthat, who reflected yesterday that "my days of writing high-dudgeon columns demanding that Republicans act in concert against Trump are behind me; cynicism and bemusement define my attitude toward G.O.P. decadence these days." ...
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